StoryWings Contest

International contest!!
Win a book :)
This is her blog... 
http://www.storywings.com/2010/12/storywings-blogaversarychristmas.html

and the form to fill out!
https://spreadsheets.google.com/viewform?hl=en&formkey=dHVwLUFhdG9kNlBwTFkxWVN2VGdwdlE6MQ#gid=0


YOU HAVE UNTIL JAN20th!!!!!

I'm depressed.

Since when are people NOT depressed on the holidays. Isn't this the time of year when suicide is high? That people drink themselves into stupors and drug themselves so they don't have to FEEL what I'm feeling?
Michael (my fiance') makes me want to bang my head against the wall. OH how I wish I could just bust him in the head and get away with it. Without any fault on my side? That would be amazing.
SO.. no Christmas for me this year. No love any day of the year. No heart no feelings nothing. I'm losing it because I can't survive only on my son's good graces EVERYNOW AND THEN.


Maybe I shouldnt be blogging to an empty computer and an empty blog. Hrmph.

A few days before Christmas...

So, it's a few days before Christmas. I've been sitting at the house, cleaning, and unpacking.. wondering what kind of day Christmas is going to be. Certainly not a good one. Hell I haven't worked since November 1st (bunch of garbage with the fiance' and family, had to leave state) and now that I'm back here, I feel like.......blah. If there is a better fitting word to describe my actual feeling, I've yet to come across it. I will try though. 

Yeah, back to what I was saying. I've started a blog, I've started a Twitter (mostly for extra Post secret stuff though) and I've tried making more friends. It's working, but we will see how long its working for. Oh yes, Christmas. Christmas for my almost 2 yr old son, is going to be kind of uneventful. Yea, I know he won't really remember or understand that he should have an abundance of toys and gifts and cheer and whatever, but I will remember. And his father, his grandparents, anyone else that feels the need to judge me & say.. I'm a bad mom. BUT i'm not a bad mother, i'm just a broke mother. 

OH how I wish I had a job. I wish I had just a little money. Some money to put into this Shack they like to call a Trailer or Home. A little paint goes far, but when you are fighting bugs and trying to keep the heat in all while cleaning up after a bunch of mongrels. Lifes a bitch. I can say that freely, without care. I KNOW  people have it worse than me. I know this. And I fee awful for them. I wish that... money wasn't an issue. That people weren't so greedy as to steal and lie and take more than needed. Yes, I can be greedy and yes, I wish I had to opportunity to be greedy!!Oh well, time to round up the little one and find out what I'm going to be yelled at for the day. Gotta check if I can post from my cellphone. (I love you Android)